How to approach a lifetime of belongings when you’re preparing a parent’s or loved one’s home for sale
For many families, the house isn’t the part that feels overwhelming.
It’s everything inside it.
Furniture.
Clothes.
Photographs.
Dishes.
Tools.
Books.
Boxes that haven’t been opened in years.
And sometimes decades of things accumulated by someone who wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about throwing anything away.
It’s very easy to walk into a longtime family home and think:
“How are we ever going to deal with all of this?”
The answer is: you don’t have to deal with everything at once.
And you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself.
Start With the Things That Matter to Your Family
Before worrying about estate sales, donations or removing anything from the house, I think the family should have an opportunity to identify the things that matter to them.
That doesn’t necessarily mean the things with the greatest monetary value.
It might be Dad’s favorite chair.
Mom’s holiday decorations.
Grandma’s recipe box.
A set of tools.
Family photographs.
Or something that would look completely ordinary to anyone outside the family.
I’ve found that as families begin going through a home, they almost always start telling stories.
Sometimes they’re sentimental. Sometimes they’re very funny.
Those stories are part of the process too.
You don’t need to decide the fate of every possession immediately. Start by making sure family members have an opportunity to identify the things they truly want to keep.
Before You Decide What Something Is Worth, Ask A Professional
It’s surprisingly difficult to know what people will—or won’t—buy.
Tastes change. Collecting trends change. Things that were difficult to sell a few years ago can sometimes find a new audience. At the same time, something a family has carefully saved for decades because everyone assumed it was valuable may turn out to have very little resale value.
That’s why I don’t like making assumptions in either direction.
An old set of china that everyone assumes nobody wants may have buyers again. The childhood board game someone is convinced must be a valuable collectible may turn out to be worth $15.
Sentimental value and market value aren’t necessarily the same thing—and that’s okay.
Well-meaning friends and family members may have opinions about what’s valuable, but when it matters, I prefer to get information from professionals who actually work in today’s resale market.
Estate sale and consignment professionals work with buyers every day. They know what’s selling now, what isn’t, what may be worth offering for sale and what probably isn’t worth the effort.
I don’t pretend to be the expert on the resale market for every piece of furniture, china, artwork, tool or collectible in a home. What I can do is help bring in experienced people who know their particular market.
Then you have good information and can decide what makes sense.
And occasionally, you may be pleasantly surprised.
Other times, you may discover that the old board game really is worth $15.
Either way, it’s better to know than to guess.
Before You Throw It Away—or Count on the Proceeds—Find Out What It’s Actually Worth
This is one reason I don’t like families rushing into a complete clean-out.
Once something is gone, it’s gone.
But I also don’t want a family making plans around an item they believe will produce thousands of dollars when the actual resale market says otherwise.
A knowledgeable professional can help separate the items that deserve further attention from the things that probably don’t.
That information can make the next decisions much easier.
There Isn’t One Right Way to Handle the Contents of a Home
Every house—and every family—is different.
Depending on what’s there, the plan might include some combination of:
- Family members taking the things they want to keep
- Cleaning and organizing
- An estate sale
- Consignment
- Donations
- Selling certain items separately
- Removing whatever remains at the end
And the order can matter.
I generally don’t like beginning with the idea of simply removing everything. That can feel unnecessarily final when the family hasn’t yet had an opportunity to understand what’s there and what the options are.
We can take it a step at a time.
You Don’t Have to Find All These People Yourself
Knowing that you could use an estate sale company, consignment store, cleaner or other service doesn’t necessarily make the process easier.
Now you have to figure out whom to call.
That’s another area where I can help.
I’ve developed relationships with vendors and professionals who handle different parts of preparing homes for sale, and I can help bring in the appropriate people based on what your particular property needs.
A recent successor trustee I worked with described this part of his experience this way:
“Janey has a great network of vendors she works with in connection with home sales, including companies that can handle selling or disposing of the contents of a home.”
That’s exactly what I want my clients to have: options without having to research every option from scratch.
You Don’t Have to Be There for Every Appointment Either
This can be especially important if you don’t live nearby.
Or perhaps you do live nearby, but you have a demanding job, children, other family responsibilities or simply an already full life.
Once we’ve agreed on a plan, I’m happy to take direction from you and help carry it out.
I can coordinate appropriate vendors, meet them at the property, help keep track of what needs to happen next and keep you informed along the way.
You remain the decision-maker. You don’t have to manage every step on your own.
For families handling a parent’s or loved one’s home from a distance, that can make an enormous difference.
Don’t Wait Until Everything Is Gone to Call Me
This may be the most important thing I can tell you.
You don’t have to empty the house before calling me.
In fact, I’d much rather see it before you’ve made all those decisions.
Seeing the home as it is helps me understand the property, its condition and what we’re working with. We can talk about the family’s goals, what may be worth doing before a sale and what probably isn’t.
Then we can develop a plan for the belongings as part of the larger plan for the property.
You may decide to handle some things yourself.
You may decide you’d rather have help with most of it.
Either is fine.
The important thing is that you don’t spend months doing work simply because you assumed it had to be finished before you were allowed to ask for real estate guidance.
If you’re wondering whether you need to prepare or clean out the home before talking with a real estate broker, you may also find I Inherited a House. Should I Clean It Out Before Calling a Realtor? helpful.
It’s Okay to Let the House—and the Things in It—Move On
Going through a family home can be emotional in ways you don’t necessarily expect.
A chair is suddenly not just a chair.
A box of Christmas decorations isn’t just a box.
Even Dad’s collection of duplicate tools may come with a story the family has been laughing about for years.
You don’t have to keep everything in order to keep those memories.
Sometimes a few meaningful things are enough.
And one thought I often share with families is:
It’s okay to pass the home on to another family to create memories of their own.
Your family’s memories don’t stay behind when the house is sold.
They go with you.
Your Next Step
If you’re looking around a parent’s or loved one’s home wondering how you’re ever going to deal with everything inside it, you don’t need to solve that problem before calling me.
Let me see the house as it is.
We can talk about what matters to the family, bring in knowledgeable professionals where appropriate, understand the options and put the steps in an order that makes sense.
Then you decide what you want to do, and I can help you get it done.
A Final Thought
Not everything in a longtime family home needs to be saved, sold or solved in a single day. Start with what matters, get good information about what you don’t know, and take the rest one manageable step at a time.
— Janey Bishop
Independent Real Estate Broker
DRE #01838769