When you’re responsible for a loved one’s home, there may be more decisions, more work, and more emotions involved than you ever expected.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from helping families sell inherited homes—and from going through the experience with my own family—it’s that things don’t always go according to plan.
There may be disagreements, unexpected expenses, decisions nobody wants to make, or simply more work than anyone anticipated. And that’s normal.
Most people haven’t been through this particular experience before. Why would they? It’s not something families do every day.
You shouldn’t feel discouraged when challenges arise. They probably will.
But there are ways to make the process easier, and you may be surprised by how much help is available. I’d like to share some of what I learned when we sold Nana’s house.
The House That Held Our Family Together
Nana was the matriarch of our family. She was the person who held everyone together. Her house had been our family’s home base for more than fifty years.
She and her husband raised a large family, and with so many children, it was often easier for everyone else to come to them. Their house became the gathering place for relatives, friends, neighborhood kids, and just about anyone who happened to be visiting. Sunday dinners and barbecues were a tradition. Nana loved having everyone together.
She and her husband taught us that family was more important than money, jobs, or just about anything else. So when the time came to sell the house, we weren’t simply preparing a property for the market. We were saying goodbye to a place that had been at the center of our family for generations.
Sorting Through a Lifetime of Belongings
If you’ve ever helped clear out a longtime family home, you know how much can accumulate over the years. And how difficult it can be to decide what to keep.
We found everything from ordinary household items to elementary and high school yearbooks. Things we hadn’t thought about in decades suddenly brought back memories. And then there’s the dilemma of what to take home.
You come across something that belonged to someone you loved, and your first instinct is to keep it. But then you stop and think, “Wait a minute. How many salad spinners do I already have? And where am I supposed to put another one?”
It’s funny, but it’s also a very real part of the process. You want to hold on to the memories, but you can’t possibly hold on to everything. And sometimes deciding what not to keep takes more time and energy than packing the things you’ve already decided to take.
The Physical Work Is More Than You Expect
The sisters who lived in Southern California tried to spend hours at Nana’s house on weekends, working through things room by room. We’d often finish with a Sunday dinner or barbecue, continuing a tradition Nana loved.
But the process took much longer than we anticipated. Some family members lived farther away and couldn’t participate as easily. Others had different opinions about what should be kept, how things should be handled, or how quickly we should move forward. And sometimes people simply weren’t ready to make decisions.
There’s another part of this experience that I think people seriously underestimate: the physical labor. When a home has been occupied for fifty years, there can be an astonishing amount of stuff. Boxes to pack, furniture to move, closets and cabinets to empty, and seemingly endless trips carrying things out of the house.
Many of us handling our parents’ or other relatives’ homes are in our 50s, 60s, or 70s ourselves. Even if we’re reasonably fit, spending hours doing that kind of work is exhausting.
I remember how tired we were after our weekends at Nana’s house. And somehow, no matter how much we’d accomplished, there always seemed to be another room, another closet, or another stack of boxes.
We worked on the house for well over a year. Even after establishing a deadline for everyone to take the belongings they wanted, it took approximately another four months to finish. Looking back, I can appreciate why it took so long. If you’re experiencing something similar, please understand that it isn’t unusual.
Family members have different schedules, different emotional attachments, and different ideas about what should happen next. And the sheer amount of physical work can be more than anyone anticipated.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
Sometimes You Just Have to Let Someone Keep the Door Knocker
One of our more amusing decisions involved the lion-shaped door knocker on Nana’s front door. Years earlier, one of my cousins had adopted that lion as something of a family insignia. Every Christmas, we’d receive another gift featuring the lion—blankets, baseball caps, coasters and all sorts of things (even a fabric ice chest). I think most of us accumulated quite a collection!
When we were preparing the house for sale, one of the younger family members wanted to keep the original door knocker. From a practical standpoint, I couldn’t quite understand what he was going to do with it, especially since he lives in a New York apartment. I could picture him opening a box thirty years later and saying, “Oh, that’s where the door knocker went!”
But it mattered to him. So the family found a very similar replacement, installed it, and he was able to keep the original. Sometimes that’s the best solution.
Not every decision has to make perfect sense to everyone involved.
We all attach meaning to different things. And when you’re sorting through a loved one’s belongings, a little patience and understanding can go a long way.
Not Every Decision Is Just About the Money
Another decision involved the carpeting. We suspected there were hardwood floors underneath, and when we pulled up the carpet, we discovered we were right. Some of the floors could be refinished, although other areas weren’t in suitable condition. Naturally, the family wanted to know whether spending the money and taking the time to do the work would be worthwhile.
From a strictly financial perspective, the answer wasn’t entirely clear. I thought we might recover the cost, but I couldn’t promise we’d make additional money.
Yet I found myself thinking about future Thanksgiving dinners. Would someone still be wondering ten or twenty years later whether we’d made a mistake by not doing the floors? I felt that even if we only broke even, there was value in making a decision we could all feel comfortable with afterward. And the floors turned out very nice.
That experience reinforced something I believe strongly when advising clients:
Peace of mind has value.
That doesn’t mean every inherited home needs renovations. Sometimes selling as-is is the most sensible choice. But families deserve to understand their options, the likely costs, and the potential benefits so they can make decisions they won’t spend years second-guessing.
Sometimes the Simplest Changes Make the Biggest Difference
There was another surprise when we began preparing the house. When Nana and her husband originally purchased it, the two main downstairs rooms had heavy curtains. Those curtains had remained there for decades.
When the curtains finally came down during the flooring work, I couldn’t believe how bright the house was! Suddenly, rooms we’d known our entire lives looked completely different. Between the refinished floors and all that natural light, the house looked wonderful.
It’s a lesson I carry into my real estate work today. Sometimes relatively simple changes can make a tremendous difference in how buyers experience a property.
Preparing a house for sale isn’t always about spending a lot of money. Often, it’s about knowing where attention will make the greatest difference.
You May Not Need to Do All the Work Yourself
Here’s something I particularly want families to understand.
You don’t have to empty the house, make every repair, and get everything ready before contacting a real estate broker.
In fact, I often wish families would reach out much earlier. I’ve seen families spend months sorting through belongings before arranging an estate sale, only to learn from the estate-sale professionals that some of the things they’d already discarded might have been worth selling.
Depending on the company, estate-sale professionals may be able to help evaluate, organize, sell, and remove belongings.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the time to go through things yourself if that’s important to you. But it’s helpful to know what options are available before you spend months doing work that someone else might be able to help with.
The same is true of preparing the property. There may be repairs that aren’t worth making, or relatively inexpensive improvements that could make a meaningful difference. And there are often practical details that families assume they’ll have to manage themselves.
I remember helping another family sell their father’s home. The family members lived out of town, and they were ready to get the house emptied and move forward. They handled clearing out the belongings relatively quickly, and I helped coordinate the remaining work to prepare the property for sale. That included arranging for the carpets to be cleaned and meeting the carpet cleaners at the house.
Around the same time, a neighbor who was also preparing her late mother’s home for sale mentioned having to drive approximately 30 miles to meet her own carpet cleaners.
I remember thinking how much easier that appointment would have been if someone nearby could have handled it for her. It’s a small example, but I think it’s an important one.
When you’re responsible for an inherited home, there can be dozens of details that need attention. Someone has to meet contractors, coordinate cleaning, check on the property, and make sure things are ready for showings.
I don’t believe my job begins when the house is ready to list. Helping get it ready is part of the service I provide.
Sometimes that means researching property records or helping evaluate repairs. Other times, it means meeting a carpet cleaner or checking on a vacant property. Those things may not sound glamorous, but they matter.
And families are often surprised to learn how much of the work they don’t necessarily have to handle themselves. There’s no prize for doing every bit of it yourself.
Realistic Expectations Matter, Especially When Family Is Involved
Another challenge families sometimes face is hearing different opinions about what an inherited property might be worth.
Everyone naturally wants the best possible outcome. But an optimistic estimate can quickly become an expectation, even when it isn’t supported by a careful evaluation of the property and the market. When several family members are involved, that can create unnecessary frustration.
I believe it’s important to give people a realistic assessment, even when the numbers aren’t what they were hoping to hear. With Nana’s house, we considered the improvements carefully, prepared the property for sale, and ultimately achieved a result we were pleased with.
We also found a good solution for handling the sale itself. Although I knew the neighborhood well because I’d grown up there, I lived about 25 miles away. I partnered with Andrew Woodward, a real estate professional who had grown up in the same community and continued to work locally.
Andrew’s local presence and relationships complemented my familiarity with the house, the family, and the work we’d already undertaken. It worked out beautifully. To me, experienced real estate representation isn’t simply about knowing how to market a property.
It’s also about anticipating questions, explaining options, recognizing potential problems, and helping families make informed decisions. Sometimes it’s knowing which questions to ask before anyone else has thought to ask them.
Saying Goodbye to Nana’s House
One of the unexpected pleasures of our open houses was seeing someone who had grown up in the neighborhood. She had been friends with one of my younger cousins and had spent time at Nana’s house as a child.
She was visiting her mother, who still lived nearby, and stopped in to see the house again. It reminded me how many people had been part of the life of that home. Eventually, of course, the house sold.
And before leaving for the last time, I stood just inside the front door and said goodbye. That house had been part of our lives for more than fifty years. It was where we grew up, where family gathered, and where everyone knew they were welcome.
As a real estate broker, I’ve always understood that there comes a time to hand a house over to someone else and let them enjoy it.
But this one was different. It had been our family’s home base, and we still haven’t quite figured out what will take its place.
If You’re Responsible for an Inherited Home, Start With a Conversation
I share this story because I want families to know that the challenges involved in selling an inherited home are often more complicated than they first appear.
You may find that sorting through belongings takes longer than expected. Family members may have different opinions. You may be uncertain about repairs, pricing, or what to do with everything in the house.
None of that means you’re doing something wrong.
Most people simply haven’t been through this process before. And you shouldn’t be expected to know everything about something you’ve never had to do.
That’s why I encourage families to seek guidance early, before they’ve spent months doing work or making decisions without knowing what other options might be available. You don’t have to have the house emptied. You don’t have to know which repairs to make. You don’t even have to be ready to sell.
Sometimes a conversation with someone who has experience handling inherited-home sales can help you understand what needs to happen, what can wait, and where you may be able to get help.
My goal is to help families understand their options, prepare thoughtfully, and make informed decisions they can feel comfortable with long after the sale is complete. Because selling an inherited home isn’t simply about getting a property sold. It’s also about helping a family move forward.
Where to Start If You’ve Inherited a Home
If you’ve recently inherited a family home and aren’t sure what to do first, I’ve put together a practical resource to help you understand your options: Start Here: I Inherited a House. What Should I Do First?
I’m also happy to talk through your situation and help you understand your options—even if you’re months away from making a decision about selling.
No pressure—just guidance when you need it.
Janey Bishop
Independent Real Estate Broker
Residential Real Estate Broker | DRE 01838769
JaneyBishop.com
